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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
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Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
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Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
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The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
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A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
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C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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